Uc Describe The World You Come From Essay

UCLA is one of the most popular universities in California. In recent years, it has received a record number of applications. If the West Coast calls to you and you like the idea of finding your niche in a large top tier university, UCLA may be the school for you. If you’re still working on your responses to the UC essay prompts, these examples may help. 

One of the most sought-after UC schools, UCLA is a dream school for many Californians. More than 100,000 students applied to UCLA last fall, and the numbers are expected to remain the same for this upcoming application season. For those of you applying this Fall, the regular application filing period is November 1-30. If you’re still working on your UC essays, here are 5 successful examples that might inspire you to write yours: 

ClaireL

UC Los Angeles ‘20

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

It was my fault. I had chosen this topic for my math exploration, armed with only the feeblest grasp of actual concept. Music, math, and the harmonic series…I sighed. In the time-honored tradition of all students, I had turned to Google for succor. The words on the screen blurred together hazily. “Pythagoras discovered that a string exactly 1/nth its length produces a frequency n times the original frequency…” It just didn’t make sense: what did a bunch of numbers have to do with musical consonance? Read her full UCLA application essay.

Mbshark

UCLA ‘20

 

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

A bright orange glow reflecting on the water, I love watching the sunrise at the beach. I grew up less than ten minutes away from the Atlantic and my early childhood memories include frequent trips to the beach. Although the beach is a stunning sight, the beach is not always pristine. My family and I regularly remove trash from the beach, including commercial fishing and industrial debris, particularly after storms, sometimes in quantities almost too heavy to carry. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

Cdougherty

UCLA ‘18

 

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Starting in 6th grade, I spent every summer at Jon Lee’s East Beach volleyball camp. Most kids came and went on a weekly basis, but I just stayed. There was nowhere else I would rather have been, than at East Beach playing volleyball with my friends. I loved it so much that I sought out faster improvement, committing to more formal training with an AVP professional player. View his full successful UCLA profile.

Cotoole

UCLA ‘19

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

T-shirt. I had never heard of DECA before. Curious, I asked him more about it, and learned that it was “a club for, like marketing and business”, as he called it. Her persuaded me to join and we planned to compete together in the Sports and Entertainment Marketing Team even. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

WyTeav

UCLA ‘21

 

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  

I can read koalas with turtles and I can eat ice cream with friends in North Korea. This is all possible due to the power of Photoshop. Photoshop is like a straw that allows people’s eyes to drink from my imagination. I can make anything and put it anywhere; from sea monsters in the ocean to winged toasters at my birth. For nearly four years, I have used Photoshop to express myself in an adventurous way, one that offers me wider avenues than music or writing do. I am constantly improving my photoshopping abilities and therefore expanding the limits of my expression. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

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Are you looking to apply to UC Schools? or just starting to build out your college list? Make sure to search through profiles of students accepted to see essays, stats, and advice. See how they got in, and how you can too!

About The Author

Frances Wong

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.




I have spent the past month giving presentations on writing powerful college application essays and reading first drafts of students’ UC personal statements. Regardless of where I’ve gone, I’ve seen a troubling pattern in interpreting and writing UC Essay Prompt 1, which reads:

For Freshmen
PROMPT #1: Describe the world you come from—for example, your family, community or school—and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Students read the prompt literally, and I have read hundreds of essays about where students grew up or dramatic family situations. Students do not appear in their own essays until the end of the essay when they discuss why they want to go to college. These students cut across all socio-economic statuses. They do not understand the prompt.

UC1 is not a literal essay. It is designed to help the UCs accept a diverse class with kids from diverse experience backgrounds. They want to know that kids belong to communities and will come to a large UC campus and make a difference. They want to know that if they come from a challenging background, how they’ve overcome or adapted to them by becoming passionate teenagers.

UC Berkeley give powerful advice about the personal statement on its website:

What we look for:

  • Initiative, motivation, leadership, persistence, service to others, special potential andsubstantial experience with other cultures
  • All achievement in light of the opportunities available to you
  • Any unusual circumstances or hardships you have faced and the ways in which you have overcome or responded to them. Having a hardship is no guarantee of admission. If you choose to write about difficulties you have experienced, you should describe:
  • How you confronted and overcame your challenges, rather than describing a hardship just for the sake of including it in your application
  • What you learned from or achieved in spite of these circumstances

So to help kids show up in their worlds, I now rephrase the prompt during my presentations and ask the following questions:

1. Where are you making a difference in your world? Pick a community service activity, a job, or an experience that reveals where you are making a difference in the world.
2. How has your world shaped what you’ve experienced and your goals for college and/or life?
3.  Just a drop of water can change the ocean. Where are you adding your drop of water? How does this connect to your community and your goals?

Rephrasing the prompt helps. Here’s one example of how I helped a student reframe his UC1 personal statement to help colleges see his initiative, motivation, leadership, and ability to navigate different worlds.

Juan initially wrote about his loving, yet poor family and how he wanted to go to college for them. It answered the literal prompt but he didn’t show up specifically in his essay until the last paragraph. Moreover, he remained in the past and never made his way to the present.

After reading his resume and speaking with him, I learned that because he was the only one in his family (eight people shared three rooms) who spoke English, he became their medical translator. He called doctors, made appointments, and translated during visits. He fell in love with medicine and then began volunteering at his local hospital for more than 300 hours. There he often translated for families and knew he wanted to become a community doctor.

After he told me these powerful stories, I suggested that he weave them into the world he comes from essay. Juan then created a powerful essay that no one else could write. It revealed his ability to already change the world he comes from and that while people may think he’s poor, he’s rich in love. Moreover, his dreams and aspirations became clearer because through communication and medicine, he was able to show how by becoming pre-med, he could continue his work at bigger levels.

This process did not talk long. It was the conversation that mattered. It was the reframing of the essay for Juan. I have had these conversations with teenagers across all social-economic groups, and they have an easier time writing truly effective UC1 essays.

Many kids need to see how they can write this essay from the first person and be the protagonist from the first paragraph. Their relatives are not going to college. Their backgrounds do not show why they deserve to go to college. They help the University of California see their potential by sharing who they are now because of the world they come from.

I recommend that counselors help re-frame this essay for all students. Regardless of socioeconomic status, students are adding their drops of water through their work, service, activities, and academic passions. These activities connect back to their worlds and lead towards their futures. We need to help them understand the purpose of the essay. Then students can draft essays that help gain admission to the amazing diverse and wonderful UC campuses.

By Rebecca Joseph

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